Tuesday, March 13, 2012

It ain't me, or you. It's him.

It's our boss. The owner. The man who reminds us that he signs our checks.

He's an asshole. Indubitably. And without argument from all who do business with him (whether vendors or staff); I suspect his wife and daughters also have some issues.

As for those who make excuses for him, who apologize for him, who have known him for a long-long time -- they say this is how he he is: he's volatile, stubborn, "old school."

And, in response, I say: "WHAT!?"

By wondering, I ask, "Why?"

"Why is he so grumpy all the time, especially when we're busy and making (him & his family) money?"

"Why does he assume we're slackers and losers and a mass-collection of no-nothings -- when he either hired us or gave the green light to hire?"

"Why does he tell us - the mgmt - to call and ask for help but then help with obvious irritation - like we're all just f@ck-ups and if it weren't for his super-human, 45+ years in the biz, we'd all have gone down in flames and taken his livelihood with his." (Because the fact that we're trying to save OUR OWN livelihood doesn't register to this man.)

I work for an asshole. I wanna quit all the time. I look forward to giving in my notice: "Sayonara, SeƱor."

But the truth is, I love my job; I love the work I do.

One-plus-year on the job (mgmt, y'all), I've earned my spot up and down the ladder. I inch and shimmy, but I have no power; I can only change so much (which is not much at all).

But influence? I've got some of that, and I've been making some slow, steady progress. It's a long game I'm playing.

I know - despite the road-blocks - that I make a difference. If only because I am not an asshole.

Indeed, I strive to be the antidote.

I spend a lot of time patching up cuts and wounds and talking some staff "off the ledge" - i.e., not walking out on the job. I won't talk anyone out of quitting, but I do suggest that they secure another gig first. "Don't leave angry; leave classy." Don't let the bastard(s) win.

I'm still here because I need to be: steady pay, steady hours, benefits plus bonuses. Plus, I love my staff and I enjoy my role as their protector/champion.

I will hurt when I leave them (and I will leave them), but giving my notice to the asshole will be mighty gratifying.

If he asks why I'm leaving, I will tell him: "You're mean." I've tapped my limit of ugly. I can no longer stand by - muted! - while you bash the staff. You do not hear me when I do speak - you are too OLD SCHOOL.

Our people do not suck. Our people work hard. Our people have pride in their work - and in the place where they work. They want to do well. And they want our support - as mgmt and ownership.

I (anonymously) tell my resto owner - and also all resto owners - STOP SHITTING on the staff.

Honestly, we're all doing the very best we can.


Sunday, March 11, 2012

Daylight Savings Time

So the clocks changed last night, "leapt forward" one hour. I'm happy to report that all of my scheduled staff arrived on time this morning and I didn't have to fire anyone for stupidity.

Poor performance and/or a bad attitude are grounds for firing that I can abide. I do not like to fire (nor am I particularly keen on hiring, but that's a different issue), but I will fire when called to due to an employee's insubordination, shoddy workmanship or obvious onsite inebriation (we fired someone last weekend for a combination of all three). What I don't like is firing someone for a basic worklife requirement: showing up to work!

When I started and until about six months ago, missing a shift meant immediate termination. No matter who you were or how long you had worked there. No one would call to see where or how you were. They just waited for the staffer to call - IF he or she called.

I'm told that many folks disappeared like ghosts, just flaked out due to a long night before or better plans ahead. Most didn't even come back for their paychecks, because said checks were often only zeros and sometimes just a few cents (service staff used to walk with the entirety of their tips every night; now, their credit card tips go on their check, issued every two weeks).

The trouble back then is that upper management got to thinking that every no-call/no-show was due to debauchery or dissolution. They neglected to consider that sometimes - SHIT HAPPENS!

*** You have recently returned to our employ; you were a good worker then - good enough to get promoted - and when you returned, we plugged you back in as a higher-up; one night, during a cold snap, a fuse blows in your apartment - thanks to your space heater - and all your power gets cut, including the outlet charging your phone, which is also your alarm.

*** After a recent bout of food poisoning - which had you hugging the cool tile of your bathroom floor, thus requiring your mother to call in for you (and you are legally an adult), you return to work rejuvenated but misread your schedule for the days ahead; upon learning you are late, you take a $40 cab ride to work and intersperse all conversations with management with profuse apologies.

*** Or, you are an exemplary employee: punctual, professional and personable; one winter night, stricken with a horrible cold, you overload on Nyquil and sleep through your alarm.

If this is you, I am not going to fire you.

I am going to call you and find out what the hell is going on. And if I get your voice mail, I am going to implore you to "call me as soon as you get this message."

And you know what? They call as soon as they get the message.

And you know what else? On the phone, they are extremely apologetic - almost apoplectic. On the other end of the line (on the power side), I can hear them fall all over themselves: it's a tripping of regret, fear and self-flagellation.

And one of the things I love about my job is telling that person (telling you!) that "everythingisgonnabeallright."

You are not fired.

We've got you covered.

BUT!

You are not allowed to do this again; this is your pass, your amnesty, your one-time-and-one-time-only "get out of jail free card."

If the call-back comes early enough, the late-comer comes in - even if he's gotta take a $40 taxi-ride to do so. If the call comes in too late to come in, they lose a shift (in addition to the one missed) and get a written warning - which goes in their file. So far, all my miscreants have been satisfied with their punishment --- and none have committed a second offense.

That's right, folks! Read it again! I have a 0% recidivism rate!

Plus! In the year I've been on the job, our turn-over rate has halved! That's right, folks! I'm not just saving lives/livelihoods, I'm saving (my boss) money!

(Firing+Hiring+Training+LearningCurve=Expensive)

(Footnote: Wish I could tell you that my boss and/or upper management recognizes me in these efforts. They don't; not directly. I think they think that I'm just "soft." Me and the other lady manager. The rest, as you may guess, are all dudes.

But despite their lack of acknowledgement, I know they reap some benefits from my/our soft style. Our people are happier, work harder, want to improve and don't want to disappoint.

And as for the ones we almost fired, they've turned out to be some of the best workers we've got.)